Something happened. Somewhere. Once.

For all you would-be Woodwards and wanna-be Bernsteins out there, here’s a quick lesson: J-schools emphasize the “5 Ws, 1 H” rule. That’s who, what, when, where, how, and why. Every story should include this information. The following story, though technically following the rule, is still a piece of crap.

Man confesses to sending strange text to UF students and staff

“Gainesville, Florida -- University of Florida officials said a man has confessed to sending a mysterious message through the school's emergency text message system.

UF spokesman Steve Orlando told The Gainesville Sun that the man, a former employee of the university's text messaging service, told investigators the message was sent by accident.

Thousands of current and former faculty, staff and students received a text message reading "The monkey got out of the cage" Tuesday night.

Orlando said it does not appear that university data was compromised.

Authorities are investigating the incident. The university said officials are working to determine which agency has jurisdiction [over] the case.”

http://www.tampabays10.com/news/watercooler/story.aspx?storyid=98673&catid=58



What a fluffy piece of non-committal journalism. Who is the man? Have authorities declined to release his name? If so, say it. Otherwise, you look lazy. Oh. He’s a former employee? Why former? Was he fired or did he quit? For what reason? Again, if no data is forthcoming from the spokespeople, at least let us know you made the damn effort.

An accidental message that apparently compromised no data. So why are authorities still investigating? Why even bother with jurisdiction if it’s as open and shut as you make it out to be? There’s a big difference between

“Whoops! Sorry, guys. I was replying to some personal messages before I left and accidentally sent that one out across the entire system.”

and

“Fire me, will you? I’ll show you. I’ll send this strange message out and make people panic, thereby costing you hundreds of thousands of dollars in wasted man-hours while you try to figure out what it means. Ha!”

Ask. The. Questions.

I remember when Dan Rather and other “professional” journalists dismissed bloggers as “amateurs in their pajamas.” How ironic that these same news outlets, in their rush to compete with the blogosphere, are now pumping out stories that are little more than grapevine gossip.