Sharp Knees

Mrs. Cat and I were discussing some of the things I noted in yesterday’s post (see…I do have adult supervision), and she brought up a really interesting point. I raised the issue of women’s self-image problems, and we were discussing the role of the media in shaping what was considered “beautiful.” Her point was that whenever someone raised a stink about the unrealistic ideals as presented by the fashion industry, the media, or adult entertainment venues, everyone looks at it as being harmful to young girls’ self-image, and no one ever brings up the fact that young men are also being influenced.

What prompted her observation was the commentary on the HCwD website I linked to yesterday. As with most other sites, allowing anonymous comments tends to bring out the reptilian nature of people, and the males that were posting were either super-critical or totally misogynistic.

“Guys want big boobs,” she ranted, “but if a woman has them everyone rushes to dismiss them as fake. And if they are real, guys bitch about sagging when she gets older.”

I’ve long-held the view that men who leave their wives and families just because the woman’s gotten older are the worst kind of shallow, vapid, narcissistic assholes on the planet. These are the fuckers with the bald spot, the paunch, the sports car and the trophy wife. If you weren’t aware that your wife was going to change as she got older, what the hell are you doing claiming to be a responsible adult? My take is that the guy that dumps his wife to seek out one of these miracles of modern plastic has his own image problems. He hopes that people will focus on his woman, and overlook any glaring faults he may have in light of the fact that the gold-digger chooses to be with him.

I’m juggling stereotypes here, obviously. I’ve also seen posts that rag on comments from people that boorishly document why a certain gal or guy is not up to their standards. FARK.com is pretty good for that kind of snark, and someone usually posts a variation on ‘real women have curves’.

But where do guys get the idea that women will never change? From the same outlets that bombard the women. Ever notice there are very few actresses or models in their 40s and 50s? Most of the roles and campaigns focus on the ages of 16-36. After that, it skips to “kindly grandmother” type. There aren’t really that many older women that are held up as a standard of beauty – unless they look 10-15 years younger than they really are. These women spend hours in a makeup chair before being photographed in perfect lighting, and are digitally enhanced afterwards. The only exception that comes to mind is Dove’s “Real Beauty” campaign.




Think about it, Hollywood oohed and aahed over Nicole Kidman in The Hours and Charlize Theron in Monster. Why? They didn’t wear makeup and deliberately made themselves ugly. That was considered to be brave of them. Val Kilmer and Robert DeNiro have both gotten press for changing their weight for roles, but nowhere near the amount of ink that the two glamorous women got. The unspoken question was “Weren’t you afraid you wouldn’t be able to go back?”

I would hope that guys would look at their own graying hair, spreading gut, and wrinkling skin, and realize that the female of the species will also go through similar changes. Yes, physical attractiveness is a necessary part of keeping the species going – Tom Robbins opined that “young girls are the biological equivalent of a ‘new car’ smell” – but it is not the alpha and omega. Once you get to the point where you’re echoing Wooderson from Dazed and Confused (“That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”), you can probably assume you’re no longer offering a positive contribution to society on balance.

And I especially hope that in this age of Photoshop, guys would understand they can’t trust any picture to necessarily be an honest representation of a woman’s appearance.