What’s in an Eman?

I know people have any number of reasons for choosing a particular name for their kids. Recycling family names, favorite characters, personal heroes and inspirations, religious names, etc.

We’ve all heard the “Lemonjello” and “Orangejello” story, and the one about “Female” (pronounced Fe-MAH-lee). I knew a girl in high school named Pepsi, and Penn Jillette and his wife named their daughter Moxie Crimefighter.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with out-of-the-norm names. If the kid truly hates it, it can be changed. I know a guy who thought his name – Jason – was the most boring name on Earth, so he had it changed to Logan. It suited him, and he was much happier.

But what kills me is the mom or dad that thinks reversing a common name is being clever. I’ve seen stories about “Semaj”-es and “Trebor”s, “Yllas”-es, and even an “Acire” or two. I keep hoping for an “Eel” to turn up, but no luck so far.

The one that absolutely drives me up the wall, though, is “Nevaeh.”

First off, I don’t know how to pronounce the damn thing. I always think of some swashbuckler brandishing a sword and shouting “NEVAH! Death first!”

If you want to name your daughter after Heaven, fine; go for it. She’ll end up being a stripper, but that’s not important. Reconsider, however, the choice to spell it backwards. When you reverse something, you get the opposite. I know raising kids can be trying sometimes, but naming your kid “Hell” is in poor taste.