Are Your Papers in Order?

Today is the beginning of the National “Click It or Ticket” campaign, which runs until June 3. Police everywhere will be targeting motorists that fail to wear their seatbelt, especially night drivers.

We’ve all heard the statistics: 2/3 of all traffic fatalities are from not wearing seatbelts; 9,500 lives were saved with seatbelts last year; blah blah blah.

One disclaimer before I begin the rant: Kids should be in car seats. They cannot make their own choice, as they cannot foresee consequences. Parents that don’t secure their kids should lose their car.

Now…


This isn’t about safety. This is about police departments filling their coffers. Don’t think so? Think about this: A motorcyclist wearing only a helmet, but otherwise unconstrained from flying through the air in the event of a collision, is a perfectly legal rider, whereas an unseatbelted driver completely enclosed within a metal cage is illegal. A 200-pound passenger in a vehicle will be breaking the law by not wearing a seatbelt, but a 200-pound mannequin in the passenger seat is not required to be belted.

Look, I always wear my seatbelt, because I enjoy walking upright and breathing unassisted, which may no longer be an option if I go through a windshield. My kids are strapped in to the point of near immobility, mainly so they can’t spill anything on the seats. But I don’t need the nanny-state making laws about it.

For those that argue that traffic injuries raise everyone’s insurance rates, here’s a simple solution: If you get injured in an accident because you were not wearing your seatbelt, you are not entitled to insurance payouts. It’s not a mandatory, nagging law, it’s a simple statement of consequences for personal choice. Rates stay down, people can choose, and Darwin weeds out the losers of the highway crapshoot.

I got into a (very genteel) argument with a trooper that had stopped me for a burnt-out brakelight. (Side rant: Why do they always ask if you know your brakelights are out? Can anyone you know simultaneously depress the brakes and check the lights? It’s not like I carry a masonry block in the car to hold the pedal down while I do a walkabout.) He came up to the window to tell me about it, and mentioned that he would have to add a fine for my not wearing my seatbelt. I told him that I had removed it to get to my wallet and glove compartment to have my papers ready (he didn’t catch that inference, luckily). He adopted an “Oh, yeah?” demeanor, and asked what I would do if I’d been hit while pulled over. I replied that I would happily file a claim with that driver’s insurance company, since it would automatically be their fault, and furthermore, the fact that they’d have to go through the trooper’s car to get to me pretty much put me at ease.

But the whole point of that story is to illustrate how it’s all about money (fortunately, you can’t be ticketed for being a smartass…yet). Cops stop you on a pretext, then rack up the fines. “Sir, I stopped you because you were doing 68 in a 65 zone. I need to see your license, registration, proof of insurance, emissions test results, the contents of your ashtray, whatever you’ve got in the glove compartment, and that empty bottle in the back seat. I also need you to empty your pockets, walk this line, recite the alphabet backwards, breathe into this tube, let my dog sniff you, and stand with your feet apart. Oh, and you’ll need to pop the trunk, too.”

Ja, mein Kapitän

And to my next door neighbors (both of whom are cops), I’m not talking about you guys; you’re cool. :)