Side-Effects

When people discuss being unemployed, they always talk about the cash crunch, the loss of insurance, the uncertainty. No one ever talks about the fact that there is now another person at home all day, and the disruption in the established domestic schedule it causes.

For instance, Mrs. Cat got used to being able to log on to the computer whenever she wanted to throughout the day, either to pursue her own interests or pull up educational sites for Kitten and Cub. Now, she’s got to find something to lure me away from the keyboard. She’s gotten really good at it, though. She’ll casually wonder aloud if there isn’t a better way to arrange the linen closet, or if the garage shelves are being optimized, and then sit back and wait for it to spur me to action. The sly minx.

There’s also a trade-off in communication. She likes having an adult around to converse with, as she was usually reduced to “A is for Apple”-type statements, and it was scrubbing points off of her IQ, but (and this will surprise no one who knows me) I can be…a tad…what you might call…sarcastic.

collective gasp

I know. Shocking, huh?

See, I got used to having thirty or so people around every day, which allowed me to spread out my ironic observations and mockery, leaving no single person to shoulder the load. As Kitten would need large doses of therapy if I jibed at her the way I did my coworkers, and Cub just ignores it, that leaves Mrs. Cat, who happily cuts me off at the knees if I push it too far. So I swallow a lot of sardonic retorts, which I’m sure will cause me to develop ulcers in the near-future.

Speaking of random transitions, our forecast is calling for thundersnow. I love this word so much. It sounds like some sort of D&D spell, combining a sonic and visual attack over a large Area of Effect, perfect for disrupting opposing forces, making an escape easier, or providing cover for a castle incursion. I always picture fluffy little flakes producing sonic booms as they hit the ground. It makes me want to roll up a Druid character and call the old group in for a game. That would be a little tricksy anymore, as we geeks defied the odds and got married and had families. Where we used to be able to devote entire weekends to gaming with little or no planning, now we have to coordinate schedules, get babysitters, find our spectacles, etc.

That’s the trade-off: We have the knowledge and experience that comes with age to create really spectacular campaigns, but are no longer able to plow through a 36-hour game fueled by nothing more than pizza and Pepsi.

sigh The side-effects of Life.