Unfortunately, there's no rule against stupidity.

Mama Cat is visiting, and I was dispatched to a pharmacy today in order to pick up a supply of needles for her. She's diabetic, and had forgotten to grab her pack from home while she was loading the car.

Imagine my surprise when I was told I couldn't buy them.

Me: Hi. I need a pack of this type of needle, please. *displays the needle supplied by Mama Cat* My mother-in-law forgot to pack hers.

Drone: Sure. Do you know her birth date?

Me: Not the year. Why?

Drone: So I can look up her insulin prescription.

Me: She lives in another part of the state. She's never filled a prescription here.

Drone: Oh. Hmmm. See...we have new rules that prevent us from selling needles unless accompanied by an insulin prescription. All the pharmacies here are doing it.

Me: So she's out of luck?

Drone: I think so, yeah.

Me: That's not the best thing to say to a diabetic, you know. Any other options?

Manager Drone: If you can tell us what brand of insulin she uses, and how many units she administers per dose, we can make an exception.

Me, translating in my head: If you can prove to us that you know something about treating diabetes, we'll assume you're not going to shoot heroin into your eyeballs behind our store.

*a quick cell conversation ensues, and I get the information*

Manager Drone: Thank you. If you could just sign this register, I'll get the needles.

Me: Sure.

Manager Drone, handing me the bag: I'm sorry for the hassle, but we're trying to cut down on illegal drug use.

Me: I understand. Thank you.



Now, here's the thing: I was asked to sign a register, but at no point did anyone ask to see any ID from me. I could have written the address for Wrigley Field, and they'd been none the wiser. That's some fine security work, Lou.

Furthermore, they claim that their policy is to cut down on substance abuse, yet on my way out of the store, I passed displays full of:

· lighters and matches (used to ignite joints, pipes and bongs, and melt powdered drugs)
· spray paint and glue (huffed for a high)
· rolling papers (duh)
· spoons (used to cook powdered drugs)
· pipes (used to smoke pot and crack)
· plastic bottles (used to make water bongs)

The point is that we should spend our energy trying to prevent people from acquiring the illegal drugs to begin with, not the paraphernalia. When I was in school, one of the earrings I wore was a coke spoon attached to a French hook. Have I ever done coke? No. Besides, if heroin users can't get nice new clean needles, they'll just reuse old ones. They're not going to kick their habit because a pharmacy's board of directors makes a new rule.

Put that in your hookah and smoke it.