Just Wondering

If men who drive fancy, expensive, high-performance cars are generally believed to be compensating for a small penis, how come men in crappy, cheap, barely-functioning vehicles aren’t given the opposite consideration?

A little S&M never hurt anyone. Think about it.

Speaking of consistency, why do environmentalists tell us to believe the scientific community when it comes to global warming, but not when it comes to irradiated or genetically-modified food?

Remember, you can’t spell “Hillary” without “liar.”

Ever notice that whenever the Left has a rally, there are always about a dozen different causes being fronted, no matter the stated intent of the march? Makes you wonder how many people would actually be out there annoying the passers-by if we made a “one cause per protest” rule. Perhaps their support isn’t as large as they want you to believe.

ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, and NPR all grouse that FOX has an agenda. If they’re all saying the same thing, what’s theirs?

Didn’t Alanis Morissette already cover “My Humps?” I thought it was called “You Oughtta Know.”

If you’re curious as to what life would be like with a Democratic President, Democratic Congress, and a Democratic-appointed Supreme Court, take California during Gray Davis’s reign and multiply it by the other 49 states. Or just use the current governor, if that’s easier.

If Bush wants to play high-stakes poker with Congress, shouldn’t he at least have a pair?

ICANN has again rejected the petition to create a .xxx domain specifically for pornography, claiming that “its creation could set ICANN up as a potential regulator of content on the Internet, which is not in its mandate.” This didn’t stop them from organizing .com, .biz, .org, .gov, or .edu. Perhaps they should change their name to ICANT.

I see that Congress may soon be voting on whether to outlaw our favorite icon of inspiration - the lowly incandescent bulb - in favor of the sexy new CFLs (Compact Fluorescent Lamps). Quick question: if your toddler knocks over the lamp, would you rather just have a little bit of broken glass and a wire, or an EPA HAZMAT Class 8 mercury spill? I think I’d prefer using a broom and dustpan than to have my living room declared a superfund site.

I visit a good half-dozen news aggregate sites each day. This increases the chance that some actual information slips through the BritneyAngelinaParisAnnaNicoleLindsey coverage.

Seems that some of the post-literate My Space crew have started a website called Writers Mafia. (I was impressed despite myself; I only found three grammatical mistakes in a cursory glance.) They’re gonna TXT you an offer you w0nt undr5t4nd. Leave the gun. Take the ellipsis.