Don’t cook bacon naked, and other Thanksgiving observations

Remember: it’s one stick of butter per person per course. Otherwise why bother?

Why is it that every other day of the year, we’re content to have a sandwich or burger for lunch, but during the holidays, nothing less than a 10-pound bird, stuffing, potatoes, green beans, hot buttered rolls, and some sort of pie (or two) satisfies us? I think it started with the Pilgrims, but they at least had the excuse that they’d previously been starving to death.

Cops are out in force patrolling traffic. I was caught up in a slow stretch of road the day before Thanksgiving, and saw the most appropriate vanity plate ever. A State Trooper had pulled over a bright yellow Mustang, whose plate read: YSOFICER

Don’t put the towel you used to clean up the herbed butter/olive oil spill in the wash with the other towels, unless you want the linen closet to smell like your meal for the next six months. Either waste the water and power to wash it by itself, or throw it away.

While it’s not unusual for a radio station to change formats for the holiday, our local harder-rock station had programmed 80s soundtrack songs. While preferable to the all-Christmas playlists most stations adopt, it was a little time-warping to be hearing OMD’s “If You Leave” (Pretty in Pink) and Peter Gabriel’s ”In Your Eyes” (Say Anything) while we cooked, particularly because we were expecting System of a Down or Seether.