Just Wondering

I want a bumper sticker that identifies me as a Bjørn again Scandinavian.

Speaking of reincarnation, why is it that everyone who “remembers their past lives” was always someone important or powerful? It would be refreshing to hear someone cop to being the assistant dung-scraper for a forgotten tradesman in Feudal England, or being a leprous quadriplegic begging outside of Fort William in Calcutta during the mid-18th century.

Further proof that environmentalists should be burned for fuel: the Spanish region of Navarre currently gets 70% of its energy from renewable resources – mainly solar and wind. Even so, there are those environmentalists that complain about the windmills spoiling the landscape and killing birds. “What they are doing is absolutely unsustainable and completely illegal,” says Antonio Munilla, of Gurelur, an environmental group. “We have taken this matter before the Congress and European Union.” http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article1873123.ece
Hey, Antonio – shut your agujero. Your argument is complete and total bullshit. The wind and the sun are totally sustainable (until the sun dies in about 5 billion years, and even that event will be about 4 billion years after it starts to expand and destroys all life on Earth). As for the legality of the enterprise, it seems that your group is mostly upset because the number of avifauna deaths was underreported in accordance with some whiny law. Boo hoo. I went to your web site. Where do you get the electricity to run your computers? Shut the fuck up. You bitch about the power generation while simultaneously availing yourself of that power. Hypocrite.

Bush is now desperately trying to get the GOP to back his amnes - oops - I mean, his immigration bill. Apparently, he doesn’t understand why we’re all pissed off about it. According to a Washington Times article, “[t]he president pleaded with senators to ‘show courage and resolve’ to withstand outrage from voters in their districts.” Uh, Jorge? Do you remember who works for whom, here? We don’t want this, and if those senators would like to be reelected, they’ll listen to us, not you. We stopped you on that stupid Miers nomination, remember? I both like and respect Tony Snow, but I sure wouldn’t want to be in his shoes right now. From the same article: “Tony Snow said the administration was trying to ‘lower the temperature and get people to talk about basic principles.’" Okay. Build the damn wall. Punish anyone that knowingly employs illegals. Deport the ones we catch. Basic, enough?

More whining from the Gay lobby, now they’re all a-twitter because e-Harmony doesn’t cater to them, and they’re bringing a lawsuit. Just stop it, okay? There are plenty of dating services and websites that you can go to in order to find a deeply meaningful relationship. Several a week, if that’s what you want. That’s what drives me up the damn wall about ideologues - on both sides. They won’t rest until everybody believes exactly as they do, and they’ll use every tool available to convert, sway, or force people to accept their views. If I own a business, and I think it’s worthwhile to court the “pink dollars”, or the pesos, or the Confederates, I will. Any market I deem to be a waste of time or have a negative ROI will not be pursued. Period.

My daughter came up to me and innocently asked: “Daddy? What are the strongest days of the week?” Huh? What an odd question. “I don’t know, Sweetheart.” “Saturday and Sunday,” she told me confidently. “The rest of them are weak days!” Groan. As a dedicated punster, I should’ve seen that one coming a mile away. I’m sure my friends are arranging an intervention for her as I type this. The scamp.

My littlest is enamored by the Teletubbies. The whole thing freaks me out, and I don’t even care if Tinky Winky is gay, or is just comfortable with his man-purse. The whole show smacks of social engineering, with dark Orwellian overtones. Every time the windmill starts up, the Tubbies are compelled to line up outside and see which of them will receive a transmission in their abdomen. And no matter where they go, one of those speaker trumpets pops up out of the ground and starts instructing them. It’s creepy. I much prefer the old Kroft shows, like H.R. Pufnstuf, which at least were powered by some really good LSD trips.

We went to the Disney store today, because our collective blood sugar was dropping. I was waiting for the girls to finish machete-ing their way through the princess stuff, hanging out by the Pirates display (because that’s the coolest place for a big manly tomcat), and was approached by one of the animatronic salespeople. She asked if there was anything she could help me find. I told her that I was a fan of older Disney efforts, and was it possible that they had any 20,000 Leagues or Song of the South merchandise? No on both counts, though she said that she thought there had been some talk about re-releasing Song of the South on DVD. This would absolutely thrill me, as I am a huge Br’er Rabbit fan. I am enough of a student of the modern, “feelings not facts” culture, though, that I am positive that some idiot like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton would oppose it on “racial” grounds. This would be truly unfortunate, as the Shakedown twins would be (once again) fomenting discontent and dissension where none exists. The Uncle Remus stories were faithfully collected by Joel Chandler Harris, and are accurate retellings of African trickster tales. (There is some overlap between Br’er Rabbit stories and Anansi the Spider stories.). His publishing them insured that those anecdotes took their place alongside Aesop’s fables and some of Chaucer’s animal tales. Instead of focusing on the positive aspects of the African contributions to the canon of the world’s great literature, the parasites that make their living off of racial strife would rather scream about perceived slights and reparations. Which is more of an honor? Making sure that a new generation is made aware of the history of these great narratives, or making sure they were never seen again? Would stories passed down by slaves prefer to be free…or kept chained up?

The new trailer for the Transformers is better than the whole of Spiderman 3. Behold, the power of editing.

The new Nessie footage from Scotland shows the new "slimline" model of the monster. Expect the Loch Ness Diet to hit the shelves soon. Of course, anyone that tries to live solely on Scottish food will lose weight anyway. It's called Involuntary Bulimia. (All right - That was a cheap shot against my ancestral clans. Sorry, guys. I actually like haggis, if it helps.)