We just bought a new television. I would’ve gotten a plasma set, but I don’t like needles.I’ve finally convinced my wife that I don’t like Italian restaurants. The truth is, I don’t like Frank Sinatra’s music.
Ever notice how mathematical logic is opposite of grammatical logic? It’s drilled into us that you can’t divide by zero. Zero is another way of saying nothing. If you have an apple, and divide it by nothing, that apple hasn’t been divided; you still have one whole apple. If you divide it by one – that is, with one cut – you have two pieces. Two cuts can give you three or four pieces. I think I’ll apply for a grant to reconcile this. Beats working.
I heard a news broadcast the other day that announced that the Bald Eagle had been dropped from the Endangered Species list. The only reference they made to any of the efforts to protect the bird was linking the comeback to the banning of DDT use. Does it matter to the environMENTALists that there has never…never…been an established link between DDT use and the fate of eagles? (http://www.junkscience.com/ddtfaq.html#ref7) No it does not. They use the favorite tool of the Left – “A lie, repeated often enough, becomes truth.”
In a similar vein, Harry Reid stood on the steaming corpse of the Immigration bill, a bill that was rejected by over 80% of the American people, and whined that “Republican obstruction has gotten so bad that now they’re blocking bills that they actually support.” What a fucking idiot. No, Harry. It means that they listened to the people that pay them. You work for us, you serpent, not the other way around. Yes, it was obstructionism, but of a kind that exemplifies the way the system should work. The “GIVErnment” pissed us all off by ignoring our wishes, and we stopped you, both Republicans and Democrats. We don’t trust any of you. How else do you explain that the President’s approval number is around 32%, and Congress’s is 14%?
Is it too much to ask to have a work day devoid of drama? I have a coworker that has only two reactions: no problem, and apocalypse. It really isn’t a disaster of Biblical proportions if we’re out of envelopes. Take your Prozac, and go sit down.
My city recently called for suggestions on how to improve our infrastructure, and got replies from thousands of pissed-off motorists. My suggestion, to call a special Planning Council meeting, take them all out into the field, and shoot them, was apparently lost in the mail. Preliminary reports indicate that the Council is considering building roundabouts throughout the city. Oh yeah…that’ll be perfect. Instead of fixing the glaring problems we already have, let’s add a system of negotiation that no one is familiar with. I really shouldn’t be surprised. This is the same group that decided that putting stoplights on a bypass was a good idea, and thinks that if you have two lanes at an intersection, one of them should be a dedicated left-turn lane, while the other should do triple duty as a left turn, straight ahead, and right turn lane. The rules of the road that I learned state that you can turn right on red, while you have to wait for green to turn left or cross the intersection. Why in the hell wouldn’t you reserve the right lane for those that are turning right? Why make them wait behind someone going in the opposite direction? Morons.
I’ve heard a lot of talk lately about reviving the Fairness Doctrine. If you’re unfamiliar with this legislation, it required that broadcast licensees present issues of public importance in a balanced manner. The Left is all verklempt because they’re getting their asses handed to them over the internet and talk radio. They’re insisting that right-wing personalities are driving us mindless hordes to do their evil bidding, and that the only way to combat it is with government intervention. That’s standard operating procedure for these brain-damaged ideologues. They know in their heart-of-hearts that their mindset is rejected by anyone with a double-digit IQ, so they use the power of law to force people to tolerate them. Their doctrines and dogma wither away in the light of reasoned argument, so they hate the competition the Free Market engenders. Compare the numbers between Rush Limbaugh’s show and Air America, and it’s pretty evident which opinions the market favors. So the Liberals want to make sure that if a station carries Savage Nation, for example, they’ll have to balance it with three hours of Randi Rhodes. I don’t think the Left fully realizes what reviving this doctrine will do. For decades, Liberal ideology has been the primary mover in media, particularly in the area of newspapers and TV news. Conservative thought in those mediums is limited to FOX news, the Op-Ed columns in the Wall Street Journal, and the Washington Post. Pretty much everything else is Left-Wing. There are already web sites devoted exclusively to exposing the bias in news broadcasts and AP/Reuters stories. Under the Fairness Doctrine, Ann Coulter would be within her rights to co-host CBS News with Katie Couric. Not only would it improve the ratings dramatically, it would be a delicious schadenfreude moment.
No one likes pop-ups. Who, then, over at Dictionary.com decided that opening an entire other site under my word search was a good idea? Red Orbit will never get any of my business, solely because of that. If you think that forcing your site to open in my browser is a good business strategy, not only are you probably a Liberal, but you haven’t read any basic marketing books.
I’m turning into a font snob. I suppose it was inevitable, given that part of my job entails my evaluating fonts to use for different marketing efforts. When I first encountered the Papyrus font about two years ago, I immediately adopted it as my e-mail font of choice. Now I’m seeing it everywhere, and it’s starting to annoy me. I’ve seen it used for banks, churches, banner ads, delivery services, and on food packaging. That’s too much to ask of any one font. Part of my annoyance I know is based on the fact that I like to be individualistic, and I had to give it up when it exploded into the mainstream. But I also expect others to show some individuality, and not follow the crowd. Sheep-like behavior does not impress me at all. I use a nice Art Deco-inspired font now, which I’m almost sure won’t be turning up on the boxes for frozen beef and broccoli meals anytime soon.
Hi, Fred. :)
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