Why Does Disney Hate Breasts?

Poor Disney. All they want to do is take sweet, innocent girls, make them famous, and wring every last drop of marketing out of them until they’re too old – around 16 or so. Their latest creations are Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez (oh, and Miley…somebody or other). Having a Kitten smack-dab in the middle of the targeted demographic for the Disney parabolic mirror means that we see more than our fair share of these tween queens.

So Kitten was watching Wizards of Waverly Place the other day, and there was a scene where the parents were attending a school function. I noticed in passing what I thought was a smear on the television screen (not uncommon in our household), and started to clean it off. Turns out, they had pixilated Mom’s cleavage.

Now, you’d think that a Disney wardrobe designer working on a Disney show produced at a Disney studio for the Disney Channel might have thought at some point: Hmmm…the actress playing Mom is fairly well-developed; maybe I should eschew the V-necked sweater. But no. They go with the more expensive technical fix. Funny thing is, they just made it more obvious by doing that. You think that was their plan all along?

Speaking of expensive technical fixes, before releasing Herbie Fully Loaded, someone at Disney noticed that Lindsay Lohan had boobs, so they decided to digitally reduce her bust size throughout the movie. This wasn’t apparent during shooting?

I think this is one reason the former Disney princesses go into full tart mode once they’re out from under their contracts. Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are prime examples (along with Miss Lohan). Anne Hathaway went from Princess Diaries to nude scenes in Havoc and Brokeback Mountain (of course, her costar, Julie Andrews, did the same in S.O.B.), even Hilary Duff started going out dressed entirely in black leather after Lizzie McGuire wrapped.

I’m really surprised this is the same company that allowed Jessica Rabbit to appear on screen, but on the other hand, Disney’s animated princesses are usually pushing the décolletage.

In Fantasia’s “Pastoral Symphony” segment, the centaurs’ breasts are always obscured or covered, but If you look quickly during the “Night on Bald Mountain” sequence, you’ll notice that the harpies are bare-breasted (they don’t have nipples, though). So…breasts are evil? Is that Disney’s message?

Too much weirdness for me to puzzle out. I’ll stick to Phineas and Ferb. Not only is it really funny, but Richard O’Brien does the voice of the dad.

So let’s do the Time Warp again.