Je ne sais quoi

You know that instance where someone says something cutting to you, and you can’t think of a good retort until much later? Turns out there’s an expression for it: l’esprit de l’escalier. It means ‘the spirit of the staircase’, which is a perfect image – two people passing on the stairs. The French, though utter shitheads in many ways, do have a gift for encapsulating the human condition(s) with pithy phrasing. I think this is one of the reasons writing can be so satisfying, because as the author, you can give your characters the perfect one-liner, insult, or rationalization with no filler words, stammering, or having to resort to ‘Oh yeah?!’

There are two types of Prius owners: those who just want to save money on gas, and those who want everyone to know they drive a Prius. I was at a drive through today when another car pulled up beside me. The man driving asks “What kind of mileage are you getting out of that Matrix?” “About 27,” I reply. He shakes his head sadly. “Bummer.” Then he smirks and drives off, and I see the model plate. What a prick. Is there any wonder the derogatory name for the car is the Pious? Have any of these assholes considered how the electricity for their hybrid is generated? Chances are pretty good it’s a plant that burns some sort of petroleum product. When your vehicle is powered by a wind-driven flywheel, you can be smug. Until then, fuck off.

Anyone else notice the change in the framing of the Global Warming argument? When it first became an issue, proponents insisted it was all the fault of human activities. They maintained this position adamantly, despite the fact that other planets in our solar system also demonstrated temperature gains. You know…the planets without people on them? Anyway, somewhere along the line, they dropped the anthropogenic codicil, and now just talk about Global Warming. It’s sneaky, because I know they still think Man caused, and can fix, the ‘problem.’ If I agree that the world is heating up, I know they’ll think I agree with them as to the cause. If I dispute the underlying cause, I get filed under ‘denier’ in their tiny mental filing cabinet, and all progress stops. It’s cause and effect, you idiot. Two separate things. You can agree on the effect and disagree on the cause.

I saw Righteous Kill the other day. I hate the fact that this was the script that brought DeNiro and Pacino together for the ‘first’ time. If they hadn’t been the leads, it wouldn’t have made half as much as it has. And it was kind of disturbing to watch DeNiro have sex with Carla Gugino, even if it was almost entirely implied rather than shown. DeNiro may be a great actor, but he’s no great looker. I cringed at his sex scene with Bridget Fonda in Jackie Brown. Another awful pairing was Nick Nolte and Jennifer Connelly in Mulholland Falls. If you want to have a sexy woman in your movie, fine. If you want a love scene with her, that’s okay, too. But please, Mr. Director, either make it with a good looking actor or use strategic lighting, because we don’t want to associate Miss Connelly with Nick Nolte’s sweaty red face. Ewww.

I forget which car company it is (so obviously their advertising isn’t working), but their latest campaign includes a bunch of covers of Beatles tunes. I don’t know if you know this, Mister Ad Exec, but no one over the age of 14 likes the Jonas Brothers. Number one, their cover is horrible. Number two, no one who likes them can afford your car, or if they can, are not old enough to drive it. Is the ‘overpaid-child-actor-who-wants-to-buy-his-grandmother-a-new-car’ that large a market segment? When your client goes to the government to be bailed out of bankruptcy, your fee better not be a line item. You should have known better.

Books I finished in the last week: Freakonomics – Steven D. Levitt; Little Brother – Cory Doctorow; Men and Cartoons – Jonathan Lethem; The Stupidest Angel – Christopher Moore.

Books I’ll finish this week: The System of the World – Neal Stephenson; Blue Mars – Kim Stanley Robinson; Three Days to Never – Tim Powers.

Books I’ll start next week: A Game of Thrones – George R. R. Martin; The Big Book of Pulps – Black Lizard; Killer in the Rain – Raymond Chandler.

(Why yes, I am currently unemployed, why do you ask? Actually, how I spend my daytime hours doesn’t affect my reading rate. I am a voracious reader, and keep four or five books going continually. I replace my library cards faster than my debit cards.)

Song I currently have on Repeat: “Something About You” by Level 42.



And you? How have you been?

Video Killed the Radio Star

You a Buggles fan? Oh, well.

I decided to try out this fancy “embed” option from YouTube just to highlight a few of my favorite videos.



“Paralyzer” – Finger Eleven

An impressive video for a groovy tune. I like the atmosphere of the empty street with the neutral color palette. I think the casting is good, especially the girl, who really isn’t "pretty" or "sexy" as those are usually defined by music videos, but has an intriguing face (wholly appropriate to the lyrics). I absolutely love the simple editing tricks that make it look like a whole group of dancers can spontaneously explode from her body. If I could choose a superpower, that one would be high on the list.





“Pipe Dream” – Animusic

You may have already seen this in your e-mail Inbox, as it was passed around quite a bit (and even has its own Snopes entry - http://www.snopes.com/photos/arts/musicmachine.asp). I think the popularity of this piece comes from the fact that it seems so darned plausible. That…and the fact that it’s just cool.




“Starship Groove” – Animusic

Another awesome video from the Animusic team. Not only is it a great tune, but I really like the idea of a ship sailing through the galaxies on no other mission than to boogie.




”Resonant Chamber” – Animusic

Last one from Animusic (though there are two DVDs worth, with a third on the way). The articulated parts of this machine remind me of H.R. Giger’s work, which I like as much as the tune. The Animusic team takes as much care with sound effects and atmosphere as they do with the central animations and the music, and that’s what makes these videos really pop.




”Bathroom” – The Umbilical Brothers

I found these guys after they showed up on Noggin as “The Upside Down Show,” which my three-year-old loves. Okay…I do too. They had an off-Broadway show called “Thwack” a few years ago, and have been doing this kind of comedy for about a decade now.




“Tap Dance” – The Umbilical Brothers

Another fun clip. The “brothers’” sketch comedy is well-planned, as they make use of camera perspective and physical effects to augment their physical efforts.




The Shining trailer remix

There are lots of these type of remixes floating around. Some are good, most are terrible. This is one of the first I saw, and is still one of the best (in my humble-yet-correct opinion).



Cello “Final Countdown”

Pure. Gold.

Just Wondering

Why is it that when people start decrying “gas-guzzlers,” they always pick on the soccer moms in the huge SUVs or the questionably-endowed Hummer drivers? No one ever brings up the Greyhound bus-sized RVs that usually only have a single retired couple in them. Those things get worse gas mileage than a Navigator in Neutral with a brick on the accelerator.

There’s a sign outside my local pharmacy that promises prescriptions “while you wait.” As opposed to what? Your shoving the pills down my throat when I walk in? The whole “while you wait” thing no longer has relevance. Back when you’d order goods and have to wait for the next trans-Atlantic shipment to bring them, being able to tailor a suit (for example) within an hour made it a good marketing hook. Today, however, we expect that you already have the stuff in stock and our waiting will be minimal, so advertising it is redundant.

If I vote for the Republicans this November, I’m being racist, but if I vote for the Democrats, I’m being sexist. This is what happens when your whole deck is nothing but Victim cards. Now what?

If you find an S&M magazine in your child’s room, would a spanking deter or encourage them?

The legal profession is frustrated by the fact that today’s juries expect “Law & Order” type trials. Maybe they should stop with the bullshit torts like tobacco settlements and McDonald’s coffee injuries, or at least send the lawyers to a couple of Drama classes. Would that help?

Will the next reality show go meta, and follow a group of reality show watchers?

I read a quote from a member of the American Association of Advertising Agencies saying the profession needed better exposure than just “Mad Men.” You mean swamping us with more advertising per minute than any other country isn’t enough? Putting ads in elevators, on grocery store conveyor belts, in one-fifth of every television hour, on urinal screens, on taxis and buses, on billboards, on recorded hold messages, in magazines, in movies, on the radio, in the newspaper, in sports stadiums, by third-class direct mail, in comic books, in text messages, in pop-up ads, in e-mail spam, in the doctor’s office, and in point-of-sale displays isn’t getting you noticed? Or do you mean better exposure, meaning that 99% of your efforts are either crap that we forget immediately, or are so disingenuous that you’re placed in the Used Car Salesman category, and you want an improved image? Who is the burden on, here? (Hint: Not us.)