Having a child with autism presents a number of challenges, and requires certain compromises and adjustments. You know the worst thing about it, though? Having Jenny McCarthy as your self-appointed spokeslut.When Denis Leary recently opined:
"There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks . . . to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a shit what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - yer kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both.",
the former Playmate and serious actress had this to say:
“Whoo! First of all, let me tell you, the autism community has received probably 10,000 emails [saying] ‘Go kill him!’ ‘Go yell at him!’”
Where is this community, Jen? I didn’t get an e-mail. And I certainly didn’t send one in to any central autism depot asking that you be sicced on Leary like some sort of attack stripper. Unwad your panties, put them back on, and go the fuck home. Most of us immediately recognized that the real target of his comments are the parents that lack the energy or foresight to discipline their little horrorshows, so use the autism label like a Get out of social ostracism free! card. Just because some mom at the playground tells me her kid is autistic doesn’t obligate me to treat her words as holy writ. I don’t automatically assume she took him to a specialist for an evaluation. She may know deep down that she’s a crappy parent and just doesn’t want to be called on it.
Leary claimed the standard “out of context” defense, which was probably a safe bet, and has since issued two apologies, which I think was a huge mistake. Other people’s feelings are not his responsibility. According to a recent news blurb, the advocacy group Autism United has graciously accepted his apologies, and has cancelled a planned boycott of his book. But wait…there’s a catch: Leary is expected to either delete the “offending” chapter or donate part of his proceeds to charity. I wonder if there’s any sort of charity for autistics that might want a slice of that. Fucking scavengers. I am so sick of people thinking they’re entitled to someone else’s money because they got their feelings hurt.
The spokesman for Autism United, Mark Anthony Ramirez, said that he was happy to accept Leary’s apology (thank you so fucking much, Ramirez), but figured “his claim that his comments were taken out of context is a veiled attempt to elicit more sales.” Or he may have felt that his comments were actually taken out of context, you idiot.
Ramirez goes on to say "As a parent of a child with autism, I feel he owes the autism community the money he is making for using what has quickly become an epidemic in our country as a cheap ploy to sell his book. He should donate a portion of his sales to assist children with autism."
How about this, Ramirez: As a parent of a child with autism, I feel Leary is entitled to keep every fucking dime he makes off of his book. You think he’s being mean? Write your own damned book. Having an autistic kid doesn’t entitle you to anything. Take care of your kid and ignore what other people say. That is…if your kid really does have autism.
See, I know my cub doesn’t have an agenda. He’s not working the system or taking advantage of the sympathy of strangers. He’s three. And if he starts to throw a fit while we’re out in public, I take him back to the car so no one else has to ride it out with us. I’ve left many a hot dinner behind so Mrs. Cat and Kitten (and the other patrons) could eat in peace. I even keep a book in the car to pass the time after Cub calms down so the rest of the family doesn’t feel obligated to bolt down their dinner to come relieve me. I could explain it to everyone in the restaurant and expect them to put up with it, but why? What does that do except annoy people? I think that’s how you can tell the fakers from the rest: they don’t act to improve the situation.
Look…all kids are different, and most kids are weird, but so-called “Autis” are differently weird. You just have to learn your child’s rhythms and patterns, and work within the framework they give you. One thing you learn real fast with an autistic child is to keep a sense of humor, because they will try your patience. They’re like every other child that way, just more intense about it. I saw a t-shirt that I think nicely sums up the proper parental attitude:
Autism rocks! And flaps, and spins, and hoots, and…
6 comments:
First off, "Or he may have felt that his comments were actually taken out of context, you idiot." It occurs to me you didn't read the full statement which is fine. No where do I ever state Leary's comments are taken out of context. Also name calling really? You obvious have an issue with reading comprehension, which is fine.
Also I never asked for Leary's money or earnings for myself because I have a child with Autism. No where is that even alluded to. I feel he should donate a portion of funds to whatever charity he feels, he should support that helps people with Autism.
He (Leary) can keep every penny, that's his right as an American, which is what makes this country great. It is also my right to feel as I do, and for you to feel as you do.
I will not fight you, your opinion is your own, and I fully respect that. I never felt entitled to anything in my life, and nor should anyone. I appreciate your comments on this statement, and thank you for all that you expressed. Though I may not agree with you, I respect your thoughts on the subject and wish you all the best.
Sincerely
Mark Anthony Ramirez
First off, "Or he may have felt that his comments were actually taken out of context, you idiot." It occurs to me you didn't read the full statement which is fine. No where do I ever state Leary's comments are taken out of context. Also name calling really? You obvious have an issue with reading comprehension, which is fine.
Speaking of reading comprehension, you need an adverb in that last sentence. It was Leary that stated his comments were taken out of context. My objection was your characterizing that defense as just being a way of generating more book sales instead of being a valid argument. If I missed some crucial part of the statement, I apologize, but the four different sources I read (WENN, autism.about.com, usatoday.com, and pr-inside.com) all had the same text. As for the name calling, be happy I didn’t refer to you as a ‘spokeslut’.
Also I never asked for Leary's money or earnings for myself because I have a child with Autism. No where is that even alluded to. I feel he should donate a portion of funds to whatever charity he feels, he should support that helps people with Autism.
When I wrote ‘Having an autistic kid doesn’t entitle you to anything’, I was using the collective ‘you’ in reference to the autistic community as a whole, which you do seem to think deserves a cut of Leary’s profits.
Though I may not agree with you, I respect your thoughts on the subject and wish you all the best.
Thanks for writing in, Mark.
If you find that what Leary wrote on autism is in the least bit funny or entertaining you are among the minority. Thousands of Americans did not. I commend Autism United and Mark Anthony Ramirez for calling Denis Leary out on it.
People who do not agree with Leary's "funny" views on autism don't have to buy the book...now that's what I call very funny.
No, Mary…it’s not funny. The delivery is funny, and the sentiment is entertaining, but the subject matter isn’t. What Denis is trying to get across here is the tendency of people to blame their crappy children on something other than their crappy parenting. It wasn’t too long ago that ADHD was the flavor of the month, and every other kid was sucking down Ritalin as fast as Mommy and Daddy could get the scrips filled. I’m surprised the schools didn’t aerosolize the shit and pump it through the ventilation system.
See…we’re a nation of fad-addicted sheep. In addition to that, there’s a strong anti-personal responsibility vibe that we’ve got going on. Combine those two tendencies, and you have medical diagnoses becoming the latest fads. You get bonus points if a diagnosis absolves you of having to control your own personal Jack Merridew.
You’re absolutely right, though: people who have no sense of humor, are deliberately obtuse, or think their feelings mean a damn to anyone else probably shouldn’t buy the book. On the flip side, though, Denis shouldn’t have to give those people any money, either.
Clearly, Dennis Leary should give all the money he ever makes to the CF foundation. Any moron can see that. *nodnod*
You know what I hate 'Cat? People who decide who the minority or majority is based on their circle. If we're going by that, I can honestly say the majority thought it very funny.
The fact is, too many people only hear what they want to hear. No one has a sense of humor now, or the ability to see the humor in a situation. They take themselves and their lives all too seriously. The good news is they will stress themselves into a heart attack and leave those of us with the ability to see the humor alone. But every objector is proof that there's too many people talking and not enough thinking and listening.
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