Leader of the Banned

Push to restrict, ban fireworks fizzles in North Charleston

http://www.charleston.net/news/2007/aug/17/push_restrict_ban_fireworks_fizzles_nort13246/

City Council decided Wednesday not to ban or restrict the sale or use of fireworks. Two residents from different parts of the city had complained recently that they couldn't leave their homes during the Fourth of July because they were afraid their homes might catch fire from neighbors' fireworks.

State law allows the sale of fireworks in South Carolina and the city cannot pre-empt state law, Mayor Keith Summey said. "If we allow people to sell them, we have to allow people to use them," he said. [emphasis mine]

State law allows someone to erect a sign in his yard declaring it a fireworks-free zone…

So where the fuck was the mayor when this was going down:

Smoking ban starts today
Monday, Jul 23, 2007

http://www.wcbd.com/midatlantic/cbd/news.apx.-content-articles-CBD-2007-07-23-0004.html

The smoking ban applies to all indoor workplaces and that includes bars and restaurants…The ban prevents smoking inside, but allows smokers to smoke outside of the buildings, as long as the smoke doesn’t drift inside.

Isn’t that interesting? South Carolina state law allows people to sell cigarettes, but Charleston isn’t allowing people to use them. And why can’t a bar or restaurant owner erect a sign declaring their business a smoke-free or smoke-friendly zone? And what the hell is that about “as long as the smoke doesn’t drift inside”? Kiss my ass. When I smoke, I take care not to blow smoke in anyone’s face. Anything beyond that is not my problem. I’ve heard people complain that they had to walk past the smokers on the sidewalks outside of these businesses. I’m sorry that the outdoors isn’t big enough for both my smoke and your comfort. Who’s taking more than their fair share of the parts per million, here?

I was in Minneapolis recently, and they are quite anti-smoking there. Not as rabid about it as California, but getting there. You can’t smoke within fifty feet of entrances to public buildings. My flight had a layover in O’Hare, and there also isn’t any smoking area inside those buildings. If you want to smoke, you have to go outside, and then back through Security. How ridiculous. Even our teeny little airport at home has a smoking lounge.

IT’S A LEGAL PRODUCT, YOU BUSYBODY FUCKHEADS!

One of my favorite things to do in places like that is to walk around with an unlit cigarette in my mouth. It’s amusing to watch the faces of the nanny-staters as they realize that they are approaching one of the most lethal, inconsiderate, and smelliest weapons ever devised by man. Doesn’t matter that it isn’t lit, all that means is that it’s poised to unleash enough second-hand smoke to pollute the entire O’Hare airport, afflicting the happy, shiny travelers with all manner of disfiguring cancers and bulbous tumors, and turning each of the five terminals into superfund sites, as useless for commercial travel as your average leper colony. (That’s why I continue to smoke – it’s the power trip that gets me off.) You’d think I was walking around with an open canister of malaria or something. Actually, I’m pretty certain that the science-ignorant antis would be more comfortable with malaria than Marlboros. At least, they seem to equate smokers with that TB-infected douchebag that flew from Italy to Canada to the US.

I think that next time someone accosts me for smoking, I’ll just tell them that it’s a firecracker.

Current mood: Confused

Ever notice how freaky Dumbo’s drunk sequence is? Same with Pooh’s heffalumps and woozles number.

So I went to Hot Topic’s Sounds of the Underground tour this past weekend. It was the last day of the tour, and was being held at Waverly Hills Sanatarium. (Look it up if you don’t already know the history.) Thirty death-metal bands for thirty dollars. That ain’t bad. The thing that tickled me was when the lead singer would get up and address the audience: “Hey, guys! We really appreciate all of you coming out and standing around in the 95-degree heat just to see us. We do this because your support means a lot to us, and we want to thank all of you. We’re going to do a song off our new album. It hasn’t been released yet, but you’re going to hear it first because without you, we wouldn’t have come this far. Hope you like it. It’s called Rrrogrrlllwrrr!” If you’re familiar with death-metal, you’re probably L-ing your AO right now. If you aren’t, I just can’t explain it. One thing that I thought was really cool was when the groups would whip the crowd into doing circles, they’d always be sure to say some variation of “And if someone falls down, rescue ‘em!” Good times.

Out of the mouths of babes: My daughter was asking if I enjoyed the concert, and what kind of instruments the bands were playing. “Electric guitar, electric bass, some keyboards, and drums.” She digested this and then asked: “No accordions?”

If you write a book on how to be a failure, and it doesn’t sell any copies, are you?

I asked my wife to say those three little words that make me dance on air. She said “Go hang yourself.”

I think there’s a lot of unnecessary overcommunication these days, in that a lot of my day is spent giving different people the same information. Don’t they talk to each other? I dislike repeating myself.

I think there’s a lot of unnecessary overcommunication these days, in that a lot of my day is spent giving different people the same information. Don’t they talk to each other? I dislike repeating myself.

I don’t think you can fully appreciate Alice in Wonderland until you’ve made a serious study of logic – mathematical, grammatical, and philosophical.

I watch a lot of old movies – from the 30s and 40s kids, not the 80s – and a couple of things that I really have come to appreciate about them is the fact that there are usually only about three screens’ worth of credits, and no “secret scenes” at the end. When the first bonus scenes were introduced after the credits, it was kind of cool; a little “thanks for staying” to the audience. Any more, directors are doing it deliberately to try and force the crowd to sit through fifteen minutes of credits. I don’t give a fuck who the 2nd 2nd assistant director’s assistant was, or the set nurse. Why are these names in front of me? I’m sure that if you’re a good caterer, you’ll get recommendations from within the industry. It’s not bloody likely that an audience member is going to choose you because they really really liked Bring It on Again.

Rrrogrrlllwrrr.

Use Your Own Judgement

Judge rules it's too hot to play

http://www.commercialappeal.com/mca/desoto/article/0,1426,MCA_451_5666728,00.html

In a move with wide-ranging implications, a North Mississippi judge Thursday banned outdoor school activities in DeSoto and five other counties in his district because of the searing heat.

And the pussification of America continues.

The order by Chancellor Mitchell Lundy of Grenada County -- a decision that a legal expert called unusual -- halted outdoor football practices as schools gear up for the start of the prep season the end of this month.

Also affected until the heat relents are volleyball and band practice, recesses for elementary school students and outdoor activities for community college students.

Some legal expert. “Unusual?” Try unconstitutional, you moron. Three branches, remember? It’s the Legislative branch that writes laws, and the Judicial branch interprets them. Now, I wonder if a Judge belongs to the Legislative branch or the Judicial branch.

"It is our duty to protect the minors from harm when at all possible," Lundy said in his two-page order banning outdoor activities between 9 a.m. and 7 p.m. "We protect them from others as well as from themselves."

Anybody else get the chills over that last quote?

Lundy gave no other reason for the order, which was not requested, but some area educators surmised he might be reacting to the recent deaths of two Mississippi high school football players.

So he didn’t explain it, and it wasn’t requested by anyone. This power-mad black-robed asshole just starts issuing writs on his own, and everyone cowers and scrapes?

Here’s the order (with my comments):

"It is well settled in the State of Mississippi that the Chancery Court is the guardian, custodian and caretaker of all minors in the state (did you ask everyone?). It is our duty to protect the minors from harm when at all possible. (Socially, yes. Not Judicially.) We protect them from others as well as from themselves. (You do not enforce the laws, idiot.)

"It has come to the attention of this Chancellor ... that the National Weather Service has issued a heat advisory for Mississippi (and) that advisory states that strenuous outdoor activities are dangerous the next several days as temperatures climb above 100 degrees. (Everybody Panic! Al Gore was right!)The dangerous times are between 9 a.m. and 7 p.m. (In a world where daylight brings danger, one judge stands alone.)

"It has also come to the attention of this Court that school (both public and private) activities are being held during these dangerous times. (It’s like he blinked suddenly and said “Hey…”) It is therefore this Chancellor's opinion that participation of these school-sponsored activities by minors is not in their best interest and is, in fact, dangerous to their health and welfare. (Your opinion does not a law make. Once you hook it onto “best interests’, there will be no stopping you.)

"Therefore, this Court hereby issues an immediate Temporary Restraining Order in the counties of DeSoto, Tate, Panola, Yalobusha. Montgomery and Grenada against any and all school-sponsored (i.e. sports-related activities) which include physical exertion and which are conducted outside between the hours of 9 a.m. and 7 p.m. (I wonder what name is on the TRO. “Everybody”?)

"This injunction is to take place immediately and be in full force and effect until further orders of this court." (Or so help me, I’ll turn this Constitution around!)

Does this s'more taste like a ficus to you?

Scouts banned from eating burgers and bangers - because of religious beliefs
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=472655&in_page_id=1770&in_page_id=1770&expand=true#StartComments

[A]t a jamboree to mark the centenary…there is no singing around the glowing embers of the camp fire - because there is no fire.

And you can't find a singed sausage for love nor money. However, there are veggie burgers aplenty.

And a large potted plant, around which the Scouts of 2007 can gather and write down thoughts on how to achieve world peace.

The location is Brownsea Island in Dorset, the starting point of Scouting where Lord Baden-Powell led the first expedition.

Why did they even bother? Is there now a merit badge in “Political Correctness”?

Some 300 modern-day Scouts (the word Boy was dropped in the 1960s) settled down to a meal prepared in a 'kitchen marquee' and consisting entirely of vegetarian food - so as not to offend any religious faiths.

Clare Haines, a spokesman for the Scout Association, said: "It was really to do with religion that we were not able to provide sausages and burgers and all that kind of food.

No, it was to do with the fact that you decided that only one type of food was going to be served; that there would be no choices offered.

"We have been very careful to make sure food is provided to everybody's tastes and beliefs, so no one feels left out.”

Except for those people whose tastes run to hot dogs and hamburgers. I’m pretty sure they felt left out. You weren’t careful, you were inept cowards.

She added that campfires had been banned on the National Trust-owned island after a massive woodland blaze 30 years ago.

Oh for God’s sake. Who was in charge of this disaster? If you’re not going to let the scouts cook hot dogs over a campfire, don’t have the damn jamboree. A fucking potted plant…

All they did at this “celebration” was show how far they’ve progressed in neutering Lord Baden-Powell’s organization. It’s taken them a hundred years, but they’ve managed to turn them into Girl Scouts.

Signs, signs, everywhere signs

Alorton sign is fine by town — but maybe not by ACLU
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/illinoisnews/story/C7767D918C4CE3268625732B00147B87?OpenDocument

ALORTON — The churches seem to turn up here often and randomly. In this town of 3,000 residents, there are at least 15 churches. Maybe 20…So you don't need to travel far to find the good Lord, as they say. In fact, visitors can't drive into town without a holy hello."Welcome to The Village of Alorton," say two green-and-white billboards with lights shining on them. "Where Jesus is Lord. Randy McCallum Mayor."

By all accounts, the longtime, city-owned signs have never seemed to stir anyone. As it turns out, though, they could be a problem.Attorneys with the Illinois office of the American Civil Liberties Union, the national civil rights group, said the signs might be unconstitutional.

So it’s a problem for those iconoclasts at the ACLU.

"If it's been put up by the city, then it definitely raises a constitutional issue," said Wendy Park, a staff attorney with the group. A city-funded sign with a specific religious message appears to violate the religious liberty guarantee of the Constitution, she said. That guarantee says no religion should be promoted over any other by a government.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;…”

Number one: the Alorton city council is not Congress.
Number two: these signs have no prohibitions against differing belief systems.

Number three: that Amendment refers specifically to the institution of a national church, with compulsory financial support and/or attendance. Interestingly, the individual states were allowed to create state churches, and some did.

And don’t give me that “wall of separation” bullshit, either. That’s from a letter by Thomas Jefferson, who was not an author of either the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. He was a smart man, but his opinions – presidential as they may have been – do not have the force of law.

The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled in the past that a government cannot endorse religion or express a message that endorses religion because "it basically leads nonbelievers to feel that they are outside the political community and are not participants in the political community," she said.

The Constitution of the State of Illinois
Preamble:We, the People of the State of Illinois - grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberty which He has permitted us to enjoy and seeking His blessing upon our endeavors…

I swear, you’d think the ACLU was staffed entirely by vampires, given their reactions to holy items. It’s all about the fucking feelings, isn’t it? Cry me a river. Nobody is precluded from participating in the political process based on belief or nonbelief. I thought that question was settled when Keith Ellison was elected to Congress.

The city erected and maintains the signs, Mayor Randy McCallum said…"They've been there at least 13 years. Maybe 14. They were put up before I was mayor."… "If the community didn't want that Jesus there, I'd take the signs down immediately," the mayor said.But the ACLU said it doesn't matter whether residents approve of the signs.

It doesn’t matter how long the signs have been there. It doesn’t matter if there have never been any complaints. Now the ACLU has noticed them, so they’re a problem, and who cares what you rubes in the sticks think?

"Even if the whole community is Christian, if someone is non-Christian and driving by Alorton or coming there to visit and sees that sign, they are led to think they are not full participants, or they are outsiders and don't belong in that community," Park said.

Guess what, chickie? If someone is just driving by, or coming to visit, they are outsiders; they aren’t full participants! We don’t allow visitors to our towns a say in the local council matters. They’re visitors! Are you really that stupid? Or do you think the rest of us are?

The ACLU hasn't determined what, if any, action it will pursue, she said.

I have a suggested action you can pursue: Go fuck yourselves. All in the spirit of Christian love and brotherhood, of course.