Sunday, May 23, 2010

Don't mess with the Mrs.

Eighteen years and counting, Mrs. Cat.

You keep the pride healthy, fed, clothed, mostly clean and reasonably happy, and sacrifice so much of yourself in doing so.

Even with our cumulative loss of sleep, solitude, and sanity, I'd do it all over again, because there's also been a hell of a lot of laughter, wonder, and fun.

Kitten and Cub get so much from you, and they will be a force to be reckoned with when they enter the world. (And not just because we weaponized them, either.)

You're my favoritest wife ever. You're an awesome partner and the perfect balance to my goofiness. You fucking rock.

We make a good team, and I can't wait to find out what the next eighteen years hold for us. Because we'll still be together, taking care of business.

And looking good while we're doing it.



Yes, readers. We ARE this cool.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Truth is Stranger than Fiction

And sometimes, it's more noir than fiction, too.




Woman's Body Found In Suitcase On SF Waterfront


SAN FRANCISCO -- A tourist walking along San Francisco’s scenic waterfront with his niece Tuesday made a shocking discovery on the rocks – a suitcase containing a young woman's body.



Lt. Mike Stasko, head of the San Francisco Police Department's homicide division, confirmed the discovery was being treated as a homicide or a questionable death.



“We have a body in a suitcase,” he told KTVU. “Right now, what we are doing is the body is being transported back to the medical examiner’s office....You never get used to something like this. Someone went ahead and … put the body in a suitcase and hoped that it was going to go down in the Bay.”


http://www.ktvu.com/news/23595753/detail.html

I'm kind of hesitant to admit it, but I'm more intrigued by this story than horrified. I really want to know the backstory and chain of events that led to this woman being stuffed in a samsonite and tossed off a bridge.


What I really want to do is write a series of detective novels and include this incident. You know how the more successful series are titled to revolve around a particular theme? I'd use airline travel terms as my hook: Early Departure, Terminal, Black Box, Missed Connection, etc.



This one would be called Carrion Luggage.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

En garde

We recently had part of the yard fenced in so Kitten and Cub could play outside without wandering into the road. From the casual experiments I’ve run, we have a vehicle pass our house approximately every twelve seconds, so keeping them from becoming speed bumps has been a priority ever since we moved here.

They now have about a quarter-acre surrounded by shiny, five-foot chain-link, and it took all of one day for it to start filling up with toys, sports equipment, and other assorted childhood support mechanisms. We’re also planning to put out a grill, picnic table, hammock for Mrs. Cat, and just generally turn it into an outdoor room.

It’s nice to be able to let the kids run around and flame out without having to stay on their heels every step of the way so they don’t dash out in front of the city bus, and I’m glad we were able to do it. What I hadn’t counted on was the perturbed reaction from our neighbors, whose property abuts the fence. Seems that when our installer was laying out the stakes, he was questioned intently about whether he was sure that’s where the property line was. When this was conveyed to me, I was kind of surprised, because the property line had never been an issue when I went ahead and mowed all the way up to the edge of their house instead of stopping at the line, which would have left a two-foot strip of lawn untouched. There was also never a question about where the property line fell when they trimmed their bushes and left the pile of limbs on the corner of our lot instead of theirs. But now that there’s a physical barrier, there’s an issue all of a sudden?

The cause of the concern became clear a couple of days ago when they came home in the new van. Seems there’s not quite enough space for them to pull in beside the other car and still be able to open the doors.

Ah…I get it now. You were counting on being able to hang your Caravan over the property line a little bit, and now you can’t. This annoys you; I understand. I don’t care, but I understand. Hey, I’ve been there. You have to decide which vehicle you’re going to put at risk by parking it in the street. It’s not an easy question: Do we risk someone smashing into the vehicle we use the most, or the one that’s worth more?

Of course, you could scoot over and park on your own yard for a change. Just a thought.

And I thought installing a fence was supposed to make for good neighbors. Until then, we’ll just have to find a way to cope with all the sidelong glances and pursed lips. Maybe I can distract myself by grilling some burgers while the kids play on the swingset.

You want one? I have pickles.